Saturday, January 9, 2010

When the beating of your heart...

The last 48 hours have undoubtedly been the worst of the year. Granted we're only 9 days in, but still. They have been wretched.

Relationships have changed, some very permanently, and the combined pain of those adjustments is honestly a little bit crushing. I think one of the greatest disservices we can do each other is to assume we know another's heart. Whether we assume we know it to be good or evil, settled or wandering, peaceful or conflicted, whole or broken, there's no easier way to wreak havoc than to allow those assumptions to inform our actions toward the people we love. If my heart fails to stay in one place, do not assume it is permanently wandering. If it cries out, do not assume it is broken. If it falters, do not assume it is weak. If it chooses badly, do not assume it is evil. Ask me where my heart is, and listen, really listen when I try to put it into words. I'm trying to get to where I'm going, and if you're not careful, you will encumber an already difficult journey.

It's so much harder to listen than to assume and act. I get that. Especially when listening means such an active participation in experiencing both pain and healing. So I guess you have to pick your poison - do you suffer, or do they? I hope to always have the courage, the patience, the listen.

May you never step into a clearing only to see me angling you up.


Missy said...

I came to look at your delicious fettucine, but I started reading some earlier posts that I'd missed. This one hits the nail on the head, Andrea. I know that feeling all too well, and as much as I hate that someone else has experienced's comforting to know that I am not alone. Thanks :)

Mrs. Donut said...

Wow, such powerful words bringing me to tears.
What a symbol of you wanting to be the best kind
of friend that would help another through that field rather
than hinder the journey. What a beautiful picture of what
it looks like to love one another. Thank you for your words.