Overdue

Everybody needs a little time away, I heard [ME] say...

A light flickered on in my dusty old brain this week, and I realized: I need a break. Somehow. Just a break. Naturally I started looking at beachfront rentals. When the sound of Dave Ramsey's voice ringing in my ears got to be completely unbearable, I switched to weekend getaways here in the Natural State. My favorite was booked for this weekend. Then I remembered that I had a gift card for a Swedish massage, and I desperately needed a haircut, and inspiration dawned: Spa Night for less than $50. Dave's happy, Mommy's happy. Done.

My mother, who helps me more than I'm pretty sure any other single mom is helped, agreed to keep Olivia so I could have a few hours to myself. I started at the spa, and the massage was great. I must confess that I have yet to find someone who can live up to Terry (see also: my first massage therapist, to whom I will forever be loyal), and anytime I see someone besides her - which is all the time now because she has fallen off the face of the earth - I usually encounter some disappointment. I will say, though, Lacy was very gracious, and she did not kill me, like some therapists try to do. Also, she did not touch my backside, which earns her major points. I had a massage at a certain clinic and day spa here in town, and I swear the dude spent 45 minutes on my butt. Because a massage is meant to be a peaceful, relaxing thing, I held my tongue, thinking, oh he'll move on any minute. I don't want to interrupt this wonderful zen moment by being rude. If the last year has taught me anything, though, it's that no moment is zen when you're paying for someone else's superfluous comfort at the expense of your own basic needs. I'm pretty sure Julia Sugarbaker could've still found a relative amount of peace and relaxation in telling someone to get his hands off her rear end. And I've always liked Julia Sugarbaker.

Anyway, the massage was good, then I took a leisurely drive down Cantrell (I always like driving past Edgehill and remembering some of the better wedding-planning-days) and headed on to Salon On The Hill, owned by Josh and Natalie Carr. Natalie is a hair genius. Plus she has four daughters, PLUS she reminds me of Sharla, so she gets points all around. One of the ways in which she reminds me of Sharla is that if I want to sit there and not say a single word while she's doing my hair, I'm pretty sure that's okay by her. But if I want to chat up a storm, she'll go along with that, too. Either way, I never feel like I have to do anything but just be there, just sit in the chair. You know, that may be just as relaxing as a trip to the spa. Tonight, it actually was.

So I'm grateful. It's been a hell of a few months, I'm not gonna lie. But it's okay. It's all going to be okay. Today I was breathing a prayer that God would let me know that He is with me in all of this, that there is a purpose, that He has an end in sight, and as I was breathing this prayer, the very words I was longing to hear were being spoken to me...there is a purpose. The end is in sight, and it is beautiful - a masterpiece that will bear His indelible mark. You will never be the same, and you will find beauty from these ashes.

...but God intended it all for good.